Like Caroline Flack I lived my life in public but I didnt have to face online trolls

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IT took my breath away when I learned of Caroline Flacks death on Saturday afternoon.

Her death is nothing but a tragedy and my thoughts immediately turned to her family who now have to live with their loss and this unimaginable pain forever. It moved me to tears.

Ulrika Jonsson says the death of fellow TV presenter Caroline Flack on Saturday moved her to tears

I never met Caroline. Our paths on the showbiz circuit never crossed but I felt, very strongly, I got the essence of this beautiful, sassy, desirable, gregarious woman.

There were aspects of what I knew of her private life with which I utterly identified.

She appeared to crash from exciting relationship into capricious romance all in search of loving and being loved much like a young Ulrika Jonsson.

Her private life ran parallel to her meteoric rise to fame and raced at much the same speed.

Ulrika describes Caroline as a ‘beautiful, sassy, desirable, gregarious woman’

Ulrika says she felt she identified with Caroline’s private life

I know from personal experience it isnt easy to nurture your career and break-neck relationships under the scrutiny of the media but I also appreciated that they sometimes very awkwardly went hand in hand.

I sometimes railed against it, privately, but I always accepted it.

I had relationships exposed via the media think Sven, Prince Edward, Stan Collymore, my infidelity with Hunter of Gladiators.

Some of my relationships did not survive because of it but that was because they were clearly not strong enough in the first place.

But I was the architect of those relationships and had to take responsibility for them.

The line between real life and reality TV, for which she became so well-known, is a tightrope fraught with enormous obstacles, mirages and optical illusions.

It looks so damn easy, doesnt it, though? All the reality stars race towards the light, swearing blind they are aware of any potential traps or challenges not stopping to think that life will be forever changed once they are set on that course.

No matter how many times they are reminded that there is no such thing as a free lunch, they proceed without caution.

Caroline pictured with boyfriend Lewis Burton last year

Im a seasoned celebrity Ive run this gauntlet for 32 years and been exposed to more than most, thanks to what you might describe as a colourful private life.

I often think back to marriage break-ups and volatile relationships and acknowledge it all played a part in my rise to fame.

When I first set out in the world of TV when there were only four channels I realise how nave and unaware I was: clueless.

But I always understood that in exchange for my moment in the limelight, I would be required to surrender a piece of my personal life. I willingly gave it at times and resented it at others but I understood it.

As a presenter I needed the Press and general media to promote my projects. It sounds as if Caroline understood that very well, too. She was a smart cookie and she counted many journalists among her friends.

I had no sense that there was any negativity towards her she was one of their darlings and, like me, because she led an exciting life, it added to her compelling popularity.

But social media something which didnt exist during the time I was reaching for the stars adds intricate, laborious and relentless complications, many of which arent regulated and fill me with horror.

Naturally, Caroline was a social media star she had millions of followers on Twitter and Instagram.

Unlike Caroline, Ulrika did not have to deal with social media during the height of her career

In many ways she had to be. Look at the shows she worked on. Both X Factor and Love Island have social media at the heart of them.

But with that huge presence online comes huge criticism.

Im not thick-skinned or resistant to bullying. I simply cannot brush off attacks and negative comments.

Poor mental health is simply not compatible with this modern form of communication.

Ulrika believes poor mental health is simply not compatible with modern-day social media

Ive lived with depression all my life and have accepted I will continue to do so.

Anxiety, insecurity, desolation and melancholy have been my bandmates throughout and they know I would not tolerate exposing myself to running commentaries from complete strangers so intensely.

And there was the added pressure Caroline faced from the court case.

The career she had worked so hard to grow and maintain came crashing down in one evening and then dragged out in the court process.

The last picture taken of Caroline before the star’s tragic suicide

The Press serves amazing purposes journalistically, investigatively, analytically, impertinently scrutinising and entertaining in one fell swoop.

Wannabes and stars alike need it, depend on it, count on it, desire it.

I am perturbed by the many celebrities criticism of the media surrounding the loss of Caroline Flack it feels two-faced and ill-considered.

People who have lapped up the limelight suddenly appear to be shunning it and denying it. Theres something of the Judas about them.

Ulrika says: ‘Holding the media responsible for (Caroline’s) passing, is unsophisticated, nave and ill-founded’

That Caroline felt vulnerable and lost, there is no doubt. Holding the media responsible for her passing, is unsophisticated, nave and ill-founded.

It sounded as if she had more support from friends and family than many others do and I sincerely hope she felt loved because she clearly was.

She was loved by fans and viewers and the Press, too. She really was.