PRINCE CHARLES, our future King, has been enjoying some post-Megxit downtime at Birkhall his personal retreat on the Queens Balmoral estate in Scotland.
Meanwhile, his father Prince Philip is enjoying his well-deserved retirement at Wood Farm, a five-bed cottage on the Queens Sandringham estate in Norfolk, where he whiles away his days painting and reading history books.
Harry and Meghan are dreaming if they think they’ll have a peaceful life now… those paps will have free reign
Prince Harry signed off with a speech about wanting ‘to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life’
When Camilla aka Duchess of Cornwall fancies a bit of time out, she heads off to her old home, Ray Mill House, which she kept as her own personal bolthole after marrying our future heir.
And when do you ever see Princess Anne going about her business outside of royal duties and attending public horse shows?
Even the younger clickbait royals manage to go to ground when it suits them.
In 2011, a week after her wedding was watched by billions, the new Duchess of Cambridge formerly Kate Middleton was pushing a trolley round Waitrose on the island of Anglesey, where she and William shared a remote farmhouse near to his air ambulance job.
They stayed there for three years and, aside from a couple of rogue pap shots, were left alone by the media.
So its rather baffling to hear Prince Harry sign off with a speech about wanting, to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life, because, when they need it, the Royal Family has far more options for me time than the rest of us.
So either hes being disingenuous (more of which later) or hes in for a big shock.
For when, as predicted, they head to LA either to live or to do business do they seriously think it will be a peaceful life?
There are more than 500 paparazzi there and, as one veteran photographer describes it: You get the shot or you dont eat. You have to be creative and aggressive and think two steps ahead of the celebrity.
And therein lies the rub. Largely stripped of his royal status, Harry is now a common-or-garden celebrity who has to take his chances with the rest of them in the jungle of hustling for work amid bustling premiere crowds.
Then theres news website TMZ and its myriad wannabe imitations. Theyll be dogging his every move with a video camera, hoping to catch a magical clickbait moment.
Its website together with a frenzied voiceover is already joking (I hope) that Meghan might sign up for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
As a former actress on cable show Suits, (ratings of around 1.5million at the time she left) Meghan was of little interest to the Hollywood glitterati and the parasites that feed off them.
But now? Shes gold-dust particularly as her inner circle includes A-listers such as the Clooneys, Serena Williams, Oprah and the Obamas. And therein lies yet another rub. If you attend premieres of movies youre not in, holiday on rich peoples jets and yachts and hang out at members-only clubs where the hoi polloi are only allowed in to clean up after you…then you are wilfully choosing a celebrity life and, with that, comes media attention, particularly from the Wild West of online.
They need you for clickbait, and you need them to maintain the popularity upon which you trade and, without which, you are nothing (: The Kardashians).
‘WHAT MEGHAN WANTS, MEGHAN GETS’
Unless, of course, you have a God- given talent like Meryl Streep, Judi Dench, Gary Oldman, Benedict Cumberbatch etc, etc all of whom put on a suit/frock when they have a film to promote but otherwise live a perfectly normal, unremarkable and, therefore, largely peaceful life unbothered by the media.
Or a member of the British Royal Family who can retreat to one of their many estates for a spot of fishing and contemplation.
So…a more peaceful life outside the protective environs of the monarchy? Dream on.
But then, deep down, one suspects that Harry and Meghan both know that and are simply using it as a smokescreen for the real story.
His wife was homesick, found royal duties restrictive and dull and wanted to return to her old life with royal knobs on.
And because Harry loves her: What Meghan wants, Meghan gets.
Good luck to them. Genuinely. But lets not pretend they had no other option because of something this country did or didnt do.
Harry is now a common-or-garden celebrity who has to take his chances with the rest of them in the jungle of hustling for work amid bustling premiere crowds
Lily Fox hunt’s a bit rich
SHORTLY after actor Laurence Foxs sterling, anti-PC performance on Question Time last week, he was predictably hosed down on Twitter by the usual virtue-signalling suspects.
Including this from singer Lily Allen.
Lilly Allen blasted Laurence Fox on Twitter over his anti-PC performance on Question Time
Sick to death of luvvies like a (sic) Lawrence Fox going on TV and forcing their opinions on everybody else, when hell never have to deal with what normal people have to deal with in his gated community.
Stick to acting mate. Instead of ranting about things you dont know anything about.
Lily, for those in blissful ignorance, is a former public school girl fond of forcing her opinions on everyone else from the comfort of, among other locations, her former mansion in the Cotswolds which, according to Vogue, was: Hidden away down a deliciously long drive.
That, folks, is what they call irony.
Or should we now call it Alleny?
Sitting pretty, Rosie
ROSIE Huntigton-Whiteley says she looks this way because most days she doesnt eat past 6pm.
She adds that, since having her two-year-old son Jack: Things dont sit where they used to, but Ive come to terms with it.
Rosie says she looks like this because most days she doesn’t eat past 6pm
Yep, I think I could also come to terms with things not sitting where they used to if they sat where
Rosies things do.
Saved by heroes
EVERY so often, amid all the headlines of gloom and despair, we are bathed in the warm glow that comes from a small slice of humanity.
Remember when little Oscar Saxelby-Lee needed a life-saving stem cell donation and thousands of people from his home city of Worcester queued up to see if they matched?
Ultimately, a crowd-funding campaign raised 500k to send him to Singapore for pioneering treatment and, this week, it was announced that hes free from cancer.
Or what about the two Tesco workers in Southend, Essex, who, upon noticing that a regular customer hadnt been in, looked through her letterbox and found her lying unresponsive in the hallway.
Thanks to them giving a damn, she is now recovering in hospital.
Local heroes, every last one of them.
Long way down
LABOUR leader hopeful Rebecca Long Bailey was introduced on stage last week as: Our next Prime Minister.
It took me back to early December, when an avalanche of leaflets cascaded through my letterbox bearing the prediction: Jo Swinson: Britains next Prime Minister.
Rebecca Long-Bailey was introduced on stage as ‘next Prime Minister’
And look how that turned out.
A SIGN put up by maternity staff at Yeovil District Hospital has angered parents.
It reads: Mummy & Daddy . . . please look at ME when I am feeding. I am much more interesting than your phone.
Maternity staff at Yeovil District Hospital are telling parents to look at their children when they’re feeding instead of their phones
At first hand, it might seem a little nanny state.
But recently a friend whose daughter wasnt talking much took her to a specialist who told her that children develop the skill to speak from watching their parents mouths as they talk.
So if were looking at a screen instead of them, chances are theyll be slower to learn.